I Could Spoil You

You’re sure you’re pregnant, and this was not among your plans. Now you feel fear, confusion and offence and are absolutely unaware of what to do further. It’s very hard to turn out to face unplanned pregnancy. You deserve to know all facts before you make a decision. Law gives you right to be informed about such important decision. Let’s learn about a new life that is developing inside of you and the abortion itself in more details. Remember, there’re always positive ways in this situation.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT AFTER-EFFECTS OF ABORTION?

Abortion is not a simple medical procedure. For many women this is an event, causing serious physical, emotional and spiritual changes. Majority of women, suffering from after-effects of past abortions, say that they would like to be told about all facts before they decided to have pregnancy terminated.

HOW SHOULD I TREAT PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAVING AN ABORTION?

Remember that basic burden because of after-effects of abortion will fall on you. If your boyfriend or parents make you having your pregnancy terminated quickly, explain them that you need to think over everything. Try to involve them in the process of learning the situation, to find a positive way. And remember, you have a right to keep this pregnancy.

CAN I HAVE A BABY AND KEEP ON LIVING MY USUAL LIFE?

Probably, you treat this unplanned pregnancy as an obstacle in your life. But you should know that there’re always lots of variants to solve problems. Look closer and you will see them. Remember, many women found necessary help in such situation and made positive decision.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

During pregnancy your organism passes through many changes. Most popular signs of early pregnancy are insomnia, sickness, heightened sensibility of breast, frequent urination, tiredness and sudden changes of mood.

You can trust to majority of pregnancy tests, however, you need to visit a doctor, to confirm it.

Your doctor may lead or send you to ultrasound investigation, to confirm pregnancy. This information is important in any case, regardless of whether you think about abortion or keeping pregnancy.

Signs of pregnancy:

Delay of menstruation
Sickness and retching
Heightened sensibility of breast
Frequent urination
Sudden changes of mood
Tiredness

TERMS

Cervix of the uterus - lower opening in uterus.

Embryo - human life in the initial stage of development.

Fertilization - combination of male sperm with female ovule, forming a new human life as a result.

Fetus - developing prenatal baby with human constitution.

Full-term pregnancy - term, after which prenatal baby is ready for birth (about 40 weeks after last menstruation or 38 weeks after fertilization).

Last menstrual period - a day, when last menstruation began before fertilization. This is a date, since which calculations of pregnancy and age of prenatal baby are made.

Trimester - 3 months interval, which is used for determination of three, following one after another, stages of pregnancy: 1st trimester (1st-3rd months), 2nd trimester (4-6th months) and 3rd trimester (7-9th months).

Uterus - muscle female organ, in which prenatal baby is developing.

Beginning of life - At the moment, when fertilization takes place, peculiarities of a baby are already present and determined, including sex, hair and eye color.

9 weeks (7 weeks since conception)
During this term a baby’s heart is already beating for a whole month

16 weeks
In this age a baby reacts to loud sounds

22 weeks (20 weeks since conception)
In this age you can see a baby’s eyelashes

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PROCEDURES OF ABORTION

Vacuum-aspiration
This operational abortion is carried out on early stage of pregnancy (up to 7 weeks). Muscles of cervix of the uterus are stretched with the help of metallic rods-dilators until opening is wide enough to allow abortive instruments come in uterus. Doctor attaches a special syringe to a tube (it is inserted in uterus) and a prenatal baby is evacuated.

Vacuum-aspiration with following scraping
During 6-14 weeks after last menstrual period

During this procedure a doctor opens cervix of the uterus with metallic dilators or thin sticks that are inserted hours before the procedure itself. A doctor inserts tube into uterus and attaches in to pump. A pump grinds a baby’s body into parts and evacuates them from uterus. Such abortion is called Dilation with following scraping. In this case doctor can use curette (roundish knife), to scrape parts of baby’s body from uterus.

Dilation and ablation
During 13-24 weeks after last menstruation

This operational abortion is carried out during second trimester of pregnancy. As a developing baby doubles in size between 11th and 12th weeks, his body is too big to be crushed by pump and pass through tube. In this case cervix of the uterus should be opened wider, than during abortion of 1st trimester. So, sticks are inserted a day or two before abortion itself. After cervix of the uterus is opened, a doctor takes out parts of baby’s body with forceps. To take out a baby’s skull, it is crushed with forceps beforehand.

Dilation and extraction
Since 20 weeks after last menstrual period

This procedure takes 3 days. During first two days a cervix of the uterus is dilated and a woman is given antispasmodic preparations. On third day a woman takes a medicine, provoking delivery. After delivery began, a doctor carries out ultrasonic investigation to determine location of baby’s legs. Clenching legs with forceps, a doctor takes baby out, leaving only head inside. Then, he makes a hole in a skull and lets contents out. A skull is broken and a baby is taken out from uterus completely.

“Mifegin”, “Mifepristone”, “RU 486В” during 4-7 weeks after last menstruation

This medicated abortion is carried out during 30-49 days after last menstrual period. As a rule, a woman should visit a doctor three times for this procedure. “Mifegin” is given to women, who return 2 days later, to take second medicine - “Misprostol”. A combination of these 2 chemicals provokes to rejection and ejection of a baby from uterus.

COMPLICATIONS RIGHT AFTER ABORTION

As a result of abortion, many complications may appear: pain in lower part of belly, spasms, sickness, vomiting and liquid stool. In spite of the fact that in majority of cases there’re no serious after-effects, complications may appear in about one of each 100 abortions on early term. And also in one of each 50 abortions on late term.

More serious complications are:

Intensive bleeding
Some bleeding after abortion is normal. However, there’s a risk of serious bleeding, especially, if uterine artery is broken. When this happens, a woman needs blood transfusion.

Infection
During abortion bacterium can come into uterus. Result - infection. Serious infection can lead to stable high temperature during several days, what requires long hospitalization.

Incomplete abortion
Some parts of baby’s body can be left in uterus. As a result, bleeding and infection may appear. For example, “RU 486″ does not work in one of 20 cases.

Allergic reaction to medicines
Allergic reaction to anesthesia during abortion can lead to convulsions, heart attack and sometimes death.

Laceration of cervix
Cervix of the uterus can be cut or broken by abortive instruments.

Scars on internal membrane of uterus
Tube of suction apparatus, curette and other instruments can leave scars on uterus membrane.

Perforation of uterus
Uterus can be transfixed or broken by instruments. Risk of this complication increases with duration of pregnancy. If this happens, a serious operation, and in some cases hysterectomy (amputation of uterus) are necessary.

Damage of internals
When a hole or gap forms in uterus, this may lead to a damage of adjoining organs, such as bowels and urinary bladder.

Death
In extreme cases complications after abortion may lead to death. Excessive bleeding, damage of organs and walls of uterus and negative reaction to anesthesia are especially dangerous. These complications happen seldom, in general 20 cases per year.

THINK ABOUT OTHER AFTER-EFFECTS OF ABORTION

ABORTION AND BREAST CANCER

Doctors are still investigating a question about possible connection between abortion and breast cancer. However, here’re several important factors:

Bearing pregnancy till childbirth creates protection against breast cancer in organism. This protection is not gained, in you make abortion.
Because of abortion a sudden decay of hormone estrogen takes place. This fact makes breast cells disposed to breast cancer.
Majority of researches indicate to a significant connection between abortion and breast cancer.

INFLUENCE OF ABORTION ON FUTURE PREGNANCY

Scars and other damages as a result of abortion may lead to sterility or complications while further desired pregnancies. For those who had first pregnancy terminated, a risk of miscarriages increases.

In 1994 a magazine National Cancer Institute determined: “Among women, who became pregnant although once, a risk of breast cancer increased 50% for those, who had pregnancy terminated”.

EMOTIONAL INFLUENCE

Some women feel serious emotional stress after abortion. This may begin during first days after abortion, and sometimes many years later. Here’re some factors, which passing of symptoms of Post-abortion stress depends on: age of woman, circumstances of abortion, term of pregnancy, and also religious views of woman.

SPIRITUAL SIDE

People have different understanding of God. Regardless of your belief now, spiritual side of abortion deserves attention. If you have your pregnancy terminated, this may influence not only your mind and organism, but also attitude to God. What does God want for you in this situation? In what way does God see your prenatal baby? These are important questions, which you should think over.

SYMPTOMS OF POST-ABORTIVE STRESS

Sense of guilt
Offence and malice
Anxiety
Depression
Thoughts of suicide
Worries during anniversaries of abortion
Sexual dysfunction
Problems in relationships
Excess alcohol
Drug addiction
Psychological changes

SEARCH OF POSITIVE DECISION

You have a legal right to choose. You real responsibility is to find out ways for making a Positive decision.

Here’re several opportunities:

BECOME A PARENT

Choice of keeping pregnancy is a difficult choice. But with support of kind people, lessons for parents and other possibilities many women find help for themselves and choose this way.

ADOPTION

You can give your baby for adoption. In USA there’re about 50,000 of such cases per year. This decision, based on love, often is made by women, who were thinking about abortion before.

“I could not give all necessary things for my baby. The best decision in my life was to find a loving family for her, which could grow my daughter. She loves her family and she loves me too. I did not betray her, I gave her the best. ”
Dana

HELP IS POSSIBLE

Sometimes it seems turning out facing unplanned pregnancy is insuperably difficult. That is why it is so important to know where to go for help. Try to talk to a person, whom you trust: priest, father of a baby, parents or, possible, just with a good friend.

Yana Mikheeva is the creator of the Baby-Health.Net at http://www.baby-health.net
Are you going to get pregnant? Visit our friendly resource and read information on pregnancy and parenting, painless childbirth, growth and development of a baby, baby health, safety, signs of pregnancy.
She also has a blog for women at http://www.womanspassions.com/blog/

Choosing the best daycare for your child can be one of the toughest decisions you’ll face. If you work full time, your child will spend more of her waking hours at the daycare than at home. This means that finding the perfect daycare is critical to her well-being. Here are the five things that you must be aware of when touring daycare facilities and making that difficult decision.

1. The Physical Space: All daycares in the United States are regulated and must pass certain criteria in order to even open their doors. However, you should be hyper-aware of the physical space your child will be spending his time in. Is it clean? Does is have a wide variety of age-appropriate toys and activities? Are there any obvious safety hazards that have not been addressed by the staff? Also, look for pets and live plants in the rooms. The space should feel like a place that you yourself would want to spend eight hours in. If it doesn’t feel good to you, turn around and walk away.

2. The Staff: Teacher turnover is a huge problem for daycares, so make sure that you feel very comfortable with and confident in the director of the program, not just your child’s potential teacher. It’s a sad fact, but daycare workers are at the bottom of the wage scale and it can be a very stressful job. Ask the director about the teacher turnover in the daycare. It will give you a good idea about what the working conditions are like for the teachers. Also, look closely to see that the teaching staff is focused on the children, not on the other adults in the room. I was once completely snubbed by a teacher who was working with a child as I toured their classroom. My son was enrolled in her class that very day. I wanted a teacher who would be focused on my son and his development.

3. Curriculum: Ask to see what the children are working on. If there is no curriculum or if they seem to focus on coloring sheets, it is not the best place for your child. No matter what the age group, there should be art, science, manipulatives, reading and writing activities available every day. For your child’s optimal growth, she must be mentally stimulated.

4. Discipline: Ask how conflicts between the children are worked out. If possible, ask some of the older children how the staff handles conflict. Staff should be facilitators, not umpires, when it comes to conflict. This means that the staff should be facilitating communication and accountability with each child, not saying that one was right and the other wrong and punishing the offender.

5. Trust Your Gut: Look, you should feel absolutely wonderful about the daycare setting your child is placed in. Every time you leave your child, you should know that he is well cared for, respected, stimulated and is having FUN. If it doesn’t feel right to you on some level, don’t leave your child there. You deserve to have peace of mind about where your child is and what he is doing when you have to be somewhere else. Trust yourself. Even if you can’t define why you don’t like a particular setting, just knowing that it’s not the perfect place for your child is enough. Keep looking until you do find that perfect setting for him.

Straight talk from the mom who’s been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. For more information, go to http://www.parentingkeys.com .

Kitchens are where everything happens. It’s not just where meals are prepared - it’s usually the hub of the home, where family and friends get together to spend time. Cooking and eating together is about more than nutrition for the body. It’s also the experience of connecting and interacting with family members, to feed relationships. Try to choose one meal that everyone comes to the table. It doesn’t have to be dinner. This is a challenge as everyone has their own activities (especially as children grow), but starting early promotes the importance of family time together, and also demonstrates a healthy attitude towards food and eating.

Socializing

• Children love playing with simple pots, pans and wooden spoons. Give them some to play with, or buy them their own play set

• If you’re in the kitchen they want to be there too. Find a place that’s safe, but also allows you to engage with them

• When eating, have them sit at the table in age appropriate high chairs and booster seats

• Interact with children at mealtimes, even when just starting on solid food

• Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby

Teaching

There are many lessons to be learned in the kitchen. You can start teaching very early. Cooking is a skill your children will use forever and you’ll create fond memories together. Even a baby’s early development can be taught in the kitchen:

• Colors and numbers - have your baby count the numbers of apples you’re peeling and ask the color

• Vocabulary - tell the baby the names of all your ingredients and ask her to repeat them

• Safety - show them the dangers in the kitchen - what not to touch and why

• Agriculture - where food comes from. How do fruits and vegetables grow? You may even consider planting a garden, so your child can see the whole process

• Table manners - the use of utensils, saying “please” and “thank you”

• Following directions - a recipe can help with reading comprehension and how to follow instructions

As your child ages, you can also teach them how to make family recipes and share with them about your own childhood and family mealtimes.

Cooking

Cooking does not have to be a major event if you do not have the time or energy. Many people think they can’t cook, but they prepare meals all the time. It does not require a recipe book or hours of time alone in the kitchen. You only need an imagination and a stocked pantry or refrigerator.

• Find a safe place for baby to watch you cook and talk to them to keep them interested - always remember to take a break and spend a few minutes playing or hugging

• Interruptions will happen - make foods that can be prepped easily or make meals in stages

• Allow children to choose foods and meals for the family - they can take pride in the family meal and that they’ve contributed

• When age appropriate, allow children to help with tasks such as mixing dough, peeling vegetables, setting the table, making family name cards

• Children will spill and make mistakes - be patient

Health and Nutrition

You want your child to grow up with healthy attitudes towards food and nutrition. They will look at what and how you eat for guidance. If you are always dieting and not enjoying food, you may pass along negative feeling about food to your children.

• Have them see you enjoying healthy foods

• Avoid foods that you do not want your child to eat. If they see you eating cookies, they will want cookies too.

• Avoid forcing your child to eat - children will eat if they are hungry

• Introduce a variety of flavors and textures to your children’s diet

• Eat whole foods vs. “fast” foods

• Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby

• Avoid bribing children with sweets

Food and Memories

Food can remind us of special occasions, events, people, etc. “Comfort foods” are those that make you feel good and often remind you of your past or childhood. Usually these foods are rich in flavor and texture (creamy, crunchy). We sometimes rely on these foods to comfort us when we’re not feeling well or want to be reminded of a special time or event. These foods may also reflect an ethnic heritage, culture, region and time. They may be time consuming to make, such as a Thanksgiving dinner or they may be quick and easy (Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches)

Ask yourself “what are my comfort foods and why?”, and “which foods would I like to become my child’s comfort foods and why?”

Lisa Barnes is the owner of Petit Appetit a cooking service devoted to infants and toddlers. She teaches private and group cooking classes to parents throughout Northern California, and is the author of The Petit Appetit Cookbook (Penguin, March 2005) For more information visit http://www.petitappetit.com